Lately, instead of thinking about big things, I’ve been struck by little ones. Here are a few examples:
Today Marc and I were driving to Bailey’s school to meet with his counselor. There’s nothing wrong but this is our first child and we don’t know how to guide him, what he’s capable of doing, and what his options are, ergo, we asked for help. I was sitting there in the car when it struck me. It was this feeling of, for lack of a better word, shininess. The sun was peeking out and burning off the morning fog; we were in one of the most exciting cities in the world; we were about to talk about our young teenager who, as of today, is still one of the “good” kids; and we were together doing all that. The immediacy of it made me catch my breath a little with the sheer gratitude I felt.
The same thing happened last week. Marc, the kids and I were sitting together at the dinner table doing nothing special except eating some yummy food when one of the kids brought up the idea of patents and patent protection (Marc is a patent attorney). A very lively and interesting discussion ensued with the kids asking some very pertinent questions. While Marc was answering one of these questions, that shiny feeling struck me. I just sat back for a moment and watched the three of them interact, soaking it in and inking the picture of it in my mind more fully.
Over the weekend, we were out to dinner with some close friends at a wonderful Mexican restaurant in the trendy Marunouchi district of Tokyo. It was my first time venturing out to dinner and taking part in any sort of night life since being back. I had to stop and take a breath from the wonderful realization that struck me – I was sitting there in that hopping joint of a place, having a fantastic mojito, and surrounded by people who care deeply about me. How lucky is that?? (It really was a grand mojito, by the way)
I can list twenty-odd more little tiny events like that over the past week or ten days that have struck me deeply. They were not moments of deep and lasting meaning. On the contrary, they were moments of near-meaninglessness. But they were moments. And they were my moments – little things that were important to me and maybe nobody else. Two or so weeks ago I was so overwhelmed with the task of getting back to my life that I couldn’t even see these snippets. Progress.
Clearly my gratitude-o-meter is running overtime as I start to feel more and more normal – and get more and more in sync with my general life and the lives of the people around me.
I don’t know how long I’ll feel this stroke of grace, but I do hope it lasts a while.